Goals

People with goals succeed because they know where they are going.  - Earl Nightingale

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. -Oprah

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. -Oprah

Finding Peace

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass,
it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
―Vivian Greene

Over the past decade Marc and I have dealt with several personal hardships of varying degrees, including the sudden death of a sibling, the loss of a best friend to illness, and an unexpected, bread winning employment layoff.

These experiences were brutal.  Each of them, unsurprisingly, knocked us down and off course for a period of time.  But when our time of mourning was over in each individual circumstance, we pressed forward, stronger, and with a greater understanding and respect for life.

Here are some vital lessons we learned – ways to maintain peace of mind in tough times:

1.  Learn to trust yourself.

“It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is.  As you heal and grow, it will all work out.  Relax and trust yourself.”

Repeat that in your mind every morning.  Because the truth is, it all works out in the end.  Put your full trust in yourself by following your intuition and doing your best, and then move forward one step at a time with faith and confidence in the future.  Life will not forsake you.  Love, persistence and hard work combined rarely lead a person astray in the long run.

If you have faith in your abilities, if you stay true to the path that feels right, if you channel your passion into action, you will ultimately achieve a breakthrough.  In other words, as soon as you trust yourself you will know how to heal and grow.

2.  Focus on what you’re learning.

Mistakes and setbacks are simply a form of practice.

If the road is easy and free of bumps, you’re likely going the wrong way.  The bumps in the road teach you what you need to know to progress down a path that is all your own.  Sometimes things have to go wrong in order to go right.  Sometimes you need to change a flat tire or two before you can move on.

Bottom line:  Your journey isn’t supposed to be easy, it’s supposed to be worth it.  To never struggle is to never grow.  There is no perfectly smooth road to anyplace worth going.

3.  Ease your expectations.

Life is under no obligation to give you exactly what you expect.  Whatever it is you’re seeking will rarely ever come in the form you’re expecting.  Don’t miss the silver lining because you were expecting gold.

You must see and accept things as they are instead of as you hoped, wished, or expected them to be.  Just because it didn’t turn out like you had envisioned, doesn’t mean it isn’t exactly what you need to get to where you ultimately want to go.

4.  Open up to someone you trust.

You aren’t alone; let someone special in when you’re in a dark place.  You know who this person is.  Don’t expect them to solve your problems; just allow them to face your problems with you.  Give them permission to stand beside you.  They won’t necessarily be able to pull you out of the dark place you’re in, but the light that spills in when they enter will at least show you which way the door is.

Above all, the important thing to remember is that you are not alone.  No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic you feel about our own situation, there is someone in your life who has dealt with similar emotions and who wants to help you.  When you hear yourself say, “I am alone,” it’s just your insecurities trying to sell you a lie. 

5.  Use hope to drive positive action.

Only in the dark can you see the stars.  The stars are hope.  Look for them.

The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for.  And the most you can do is live inside that hope as you work for what you want.  Do not admire what you hope for from a distance, but live right in it.  Get deeply involved with the thoughts and activities that keep your hope alive and your intention possible.

No, hope alone will not save you from despair.  Hope empowers you to strive and grow even when your circumstances are in shambles.  The road that is built with hope is more pleasant than the road built in despair, even though they both may seem to lead you to the same place in the short-term.  But it is the positive growth you attain on your way to this temporary place that will benefit your final destination.

It’s all about balance – accepting reality without giving up on what needs to be done to reach your desired destination in the long run.

6.  Move TOWARDS something instead of AWAY.

“Don’t think about eating that chocolate cookie!”  What are you thinking about now?  Eating that chocolate cookie, right?  When you concentrate on not thinking about something, you end up thinking about it.

The same philosophy holds true when it comes to freeing your mind from a negative past.  By persistently trying to move away from what you don’t want, you are forced to think about it so much that you end up carrying it’s weight along with you.  But if you instead choose to focus your energy on moving toward something you do want, you naturally leave the negative weight behind as you progress forward.

Bottom line:  Instead of concentrating on eliminating the negative, concentrate on creating something positive (that just happens to replace the negative). 

7.  Take a few steps back.

Everything seems simpler from a distance.  Sometimes you simply need to distance yourself to see things more clearly.

You are more than whatever is troubling you.  A very real part of you exists beyond your worries, beyond your doubts, independent from the troubles and frustrations of the present moment.  Step back and observe yourself as you experience each moment.  Be present.  Watch yourself as you think, as you take action, as you experience emotions.  Your body may experience pain, and yet that pain is not you.  Your mind may encounter troubles, and yet you are not those troubles.

Think of the most difficult challenge you face right now.  Imagine that it’s not you, but a close friend who is facing this challenge.  What advice would you give her?  If you could step back and, instead of being the subject, look at your situation as an objective observer, would you look at it any differently?  Think of the advice you would give your friend if your friend were in your shoes.  Are you following your own best advice right now?

Don’t allow your current troubles to cloud your thinking.  Take a few steps back and give yourself the benefit of this distance, and then give yourself some great advice.

8.  Give yourself time.

Take all the time you need.  Emotional healing is a process; don’t rush yourself through it.  Don’t let others force you through it either.  Moving on doesn’t take a day; it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken past and your wounded self.

Take today breath by breath, one step at a time.  Never let trouble from the past make you feel like you have a bad life now.  Just because yesterday was painful doesn’t mean today will be too.  Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.  Today you have a choice to explore these parts of yourself.  Give yourself the needed time and permission to explore and heal. 

9.  Look for the beginning in every ending.

A wise man once said, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”  Today is a new beginning; treat it that way.  Stop thinking about what might have been and starting looking at what can be.

Say to yourself: “Dear Past, thank you for all the life lessons you have taught me.  Dear Future, I am ready now!”  Because a great beginning always occurs at the exact moment you thought would be the end of everything.

Scource: marcandangel.com

Success Quote

“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.”

Mark Caine

Things to do to stress less

Scource: marcandangel.com

People’s lives become chaotic the minute they decide to be.

People’s lives become happier the minute they decide to be.

1.  Know what you’re trying to achieve and why.

Lack of direction creates stress.  And it’s lack of direction, not lack of time, that’s the problem when it comes to personal achievement.  Everyone has the same 24-hour days and 7-day weeks.

Whenever you want to achieve something keep your conscious clear.  Focus and make sure you know exactly what it is you want and why.  No one can hit their target if they don’t know what their target is.

2.  Do less by focusing exclusively on what’s important.

The essence of personal productivity is to do the important things rather than the urgent things.

In other words, put first things first.  Focus on the essential and eliminate the rest. 

3.  Think progress, not perfection.

Don’t worry about perfection; you’ll never achieve it.  Instead, focus on the progress you’ve made and the progress you intend to make today.

Progression is not automatic or inevitable.  Every step of personal growth requires sacrifice and work.  Every step is part of an ever-improving, ever-ascending life path.  Every step is an accomplishment that should be celebrated.  You know you will never get to the absolute peak (perfection), but when you celebrate the journey this truth only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.

4.  Cleanse your heart every night.

Just as your body needs regular washing because it gets dirty every day, so does your heart.

Because every day, people hurt you, offend you, forget you, snub you, step on you, or reject you.  But if you choose to forgive these people and let these things go at the end of each day, you cleanse your heart.  You wake up the next morning refreshed and free of negativity.  Refuse to carry old regrets, mindsets, and distractions into each new day.  

5.  Purge untrue thoughts.

You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.

Behind every stressful feeling is an untrue thought.  Before the thought you weren’t suffering, but after the thought you began to suffer.  When you recognize that the thought isn’t true, once again there is no suffering.  When you change your thoughts, you change your life.

6.  Expect some stress, accept it, and let go of it.

The most important journeys that lead to the most wonderful places are usually the challenging ones you must endure the hard way.

Stress is but a wall between two peaceful gardens – the garden where you are and garden where you want to be.  You must scale the wall that’s in your way, gathering lessons as you climb, before letting go as you descend to the other side.  You will only lose if you never climb or you never let go.

7.  Be kind to your body.

A good workout is the best stress reducer, and a fit, healthy body is the best fashion statement.

The pursuit of optimal fitness is a journey, a constant struggle, a lifestyle.  It’s a gradual process where intensity during each exercise session, what you eat every single day, and patience over years is what’s required.

But as you know, the longest journey always begins with a single step.  It’s all about taking that step and then stepping one day at a time, committing yourself to a daily intake of 30 to 60 minutes of uninterrupted exercise and a reasonably healthy diet.  

8.  Do one nice thing for yourself every day.

Put yourself at the top of your priority list.  There is no person on Earth who deserves your kindness and attention more than you.  When you love yourself first, everything else falls into place.

So treat yourself every day.  Give yourself something special – like laughter, good conversation, meditation, quiet reading, an hour to work on a passion, a long walk, etc.

You are worth it.

9.  Simplify.

Organize, don’t agonize.  Keep your space ordered and your schedule under-booked.  Create a foundation with a soft place to land, a wide margin of error, and room to think and breathe…

So you have the flexibility to explore the possibilities for happiness in each and every day.

Success Quote

Life is only what we choose to make it.

Success Quote

Winners are ordinary people with extraordinary heart.

Career success

7 Steps To Developing Career Capital -- And Achieving Success http://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2013/05/22/7-steps-to-developing-career-capital-and-achieving-success/

Keep going

"Failure is normal, and the most important thing is to learn from it and keep on pushing through, despite what others might say. This can be one of the hardest things to do, but pick yourself back up and keep going."

Success Quote

To be a champion, you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will. - Sugar Ray Robinson

Success Quote

Life is short. Focus from this day forward on making a difference.

Life

Success Quote

When everything feels like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top.

www.andrewreiffenbergeronline.com

Mom's

ecoMOMics: The Financial Power and Value of Moms http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertlaura/2013/05/10/ecomomics-the-financial-power-and-value-of-moms/

It shall pass

Daily Quote

Good things come to those who hustle while they wait.

The 5 W's of Life

8 Ways Happy People Start Their Mornings

The morning is extremely important.  It is the foundation from which the rest of the day is built.  How you choose to spend your morning can often be used to accurately predict what kind of day you’re going to have.
Source-marcandangel.com

1.  A calm awakening.

In the space between the edge of the night and the chaos of the day, you have a chance to make a special space for yourself.  In this space, thoughts and contentment neatly overlap, where past and future issues cease to exist, and time touches eternity.  Hovering about your mind, as you gently begin to stir, there are beautiful visions no one has ever seen and soothing harmonies no one has ever heard.These first few moments of the day are sacred.  Savor them.  Protect them.  Awaken yourself peacefully, stretch fully and breathe deeply in them without rushing forward.  Give yourself this time as a gift, to simply be and feel alive, to conquer the anxiety of life, and live in the moment breath by breath.

2.  Meditate on the goodness.

Begin each day with love, grace, and gratitude.When you arise in the morning, think of what a great privilege it is to be alive – to be, to see, to hear, to think, to love, to have something to look forward to.  Happiness is a big part of these little parts of your life; joy is simply the feeling of appreciating it.Realize that it’s not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.  Make a habit of noticing the goodness that’s already yours and you will see more of it every time you look for it.

3.  Let go to begin anew.

Each new morning greets you with no restrictions except for the restrictions you place on it.Don’t hold yourself hostage for the things that didn’t work out yesterday.  Don’t let your history interfere with your purpose today.  Let yesterday go.  Every morning is the start of a new day with no mistakes, just possibilities.Release and renew.  Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.

4.  Be right where you are.

Live now.  Not before.  Not later.  Just NOW – in the moment you’re in.  Inhabit your morning completely.  Don’t rent it out to the past or the future.Do you know what you’re doing to yourself when you wake up and start worrying about every other time and place?You’re cheating yourself out of the moments we call “life.”  Your real life – the here and now – is calling to you, trying to get your attention, but you’re stuck on another time and place, and so your life keeps dripping away moment by moment like fresh water down a dirty drain.  You wake up the next morning and all those priceless moments of your life are wasted and gone forever.  Some of those moments may have had magnificent experiences in store for you, but now you’ll never know…Bottom line:  Don’t be so worried about what’s ahead of you and behind you that you never enjoy where you are.  Start your morning off right by paying full attention to it.

5.  Find a little inspiration

Sometimes all you need is a little inspiration in the morning.Read a motivational quote.  Listen to a song that moves you.  Watch a short video clip that inspires you.  This can provide a framework for the day, a sort of positive pep-talk that keeps you motivated and heading in the right direction, as opposed to succumbing to the negativity spewing out of morning newscasters and radio talk show hosts.Another option:  Use a motivational mantra or affirmation that provides a meditation-like burst, or read or recite some prose that helps you focus.

6.  Exercise your love.

Love is the foundation.  Love is the board under the chalk, the ground from which giant trees and buildings arise, and the oxygen in the air.  It’s the place you come back to, no matter where you’ve been or where you’re headed.  Love is where life’s goodness begins.Every morning, kiss all the people you love in your house (including your pets).  And once you’ve done that, set ten minutes aside to do something you love – perhaps a hobby or a quiet morning walk.  Doing something positive will help you set the mood you need to create a great day.  When you smile, your body relaxes.  When you experience a loving human interaction, or a deep connection to a passion, it eases tension in your body.  Connecting with the right people and activities soothes stress and provides you with a positive foundation for your day, as well as keeping you focused on what’s truly important.

7.  Follow a relaxing morning routine.

Morning routines are critically important.  They help you focus and build momentum for your day, and they give you the freedom to be present and relaxed – to enjoy just being right where you are each moment, rather than rushing from somewhere to somewhere.  Once you get your routine in order, for the first time in a long time, you will be able to, quite literally, smell the coffee.For truly relaxing mornings, reduce the number of decisions you must make.  There are two simple ways to do this:  First, make your big morning decisions the night before: what to eat for breakfast, what clothes to wear, what you need to take to work, etc.  Second, build a simple routine for as much of your daily morning tasks as possible.Really, there’s no need to drastically alter the simple things like how much time you give yourself to get ready for work, how complex of a meal you make for breakfast, or bathroom and shower rituals from one morning to the next.

8.  Move on to what’s most important.

Today is a golden opportunity to do something that matters to you.When was the last time you woke up and said, “Today could be the best day of my life”?  Participate in your dreams today.  Your potential is limitless.  Put first things first and take action on an important task that’s been lingering.Success is not something you have; it’s something you DO.  It’s something you experience when you wake up and act accordingly.  Be a self-starter.  Let your first hour set the theme of proactivity and success that is certain to echo through your entire day.  Today will never happen again.  Don’t waste it with a false start or no real start at all.

Quote

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I thinkI have ended up where I needed to be.―Douglas Adams

Opportunity

Every difficult moment in our lives is accompanied by an opportunity for personal growth and creativity.

Trust

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

Strength

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”―Ann Landers


www.andrewreiffenbergeronline.com